D’ya hear yer man

Lucy got a taste for the beach at the weekend and soon realised that sand isn’t designed to go in your mouth.

The Cousins family spent a couple of days at Castlerock in what was our first official family holiday since Lucy’s arrival.

Myself, Karen and Lucy were joined by my mum and dad. I think it might have been the first time I’d spent a holiday with my mum and dad since the mid 1990s when we went to Florida.

On that holiday I insisted on wearing heavy metal T-shirts everywhere we went. I felt like such a rebel as I got my picture taken outside Mickey Mouse’s Magic Kingdom wearing a heavy frown and my Pantera ‘all-over print’ T-shirt.

I realise now I looked like a prat.

The trip to Castlerock featured no heavy metal T-shirts nor heavy frowns. It was a lovely little break which passed off without incident.

Not exactly Castlerock ‘n’ roll, but the breath of sea air was just what was needed for all the family. In saying that, the sea air seemed to get as much blame as it did credit.

For example the sea air was credited with Lucy getting a great night’s sleep on Friday night, but on Saturday morning, when she was roaring like a maniac and refusing her bottle, the sea air was to blame.

The sea air was also deemed responsible for both my increased appetite and my dad being off his food. And when we thought we’d lost Lucy’s red cardigan the sea air was the main culprit until it turned up in the folds of Karen’s coat.

Over the weekend we paid a visit to Portrush where my dad told us of some of the memorable incidents that had taken place on family trips to the north coast down through the years. He told of the time that my granny fell and broke her leg (or maybe it was her hip) while out for a stroll on the first day of their holidays. He also recalled the time his brother Harold, in his excitement to get into the paddling pool, ended up face first in the water. His fondest memory of the north coast was the time he was in the car with Jackie Denver and their vehicle was struck by a miss-hit tee-shot from a nearby golfer. It makes you wonder why they kept going back.

The most memorable part of the weekend for me was letting Lucy loose on the East Strand at Portrush and seeing her reaction to the sand. She seemed to enjoy shovelling the grains and sculpting castle-like shapes in the sand.

Next time we might even give her a bucket and spade.

Even though we only spent a couple of days up the north coast it was with great sadness that I bid farewell on Sunday to the apartment we’d spent the last couple of days in. There may even have been a little tear in my eye.

I’m blaming the sea air.

I like driving in my car

I’ve been driving to work for the last couple of months now and it’s been nowhere near as bad as I first thought.

When I was first told the Lurgan Mail was moving to Carn I wasn’t looking forward to giving up the choo choo in favour of the vroom vroom.

I loved the fact I could read, eat and sleep on the train - activities which are pretty much outlawed when driving an automobile.

However, I’ve discovered there are also a few things you can do in the car on a passengerless journey that you can’t do on the train. My favourite is the fact that you can crank up the stereo to full volume and sing/shout at the top of your voice, safe in the knowledge that the rush of the traffic will drown out the din.

The only other place I can sing with such abandon is when I’m in the shower. Perhaps it’s no coincidence that car and shower are a perfect rhyming couplet. Well, they are when you speak with a Lurgan accent.

Fact of the week

In this new section of the column I will present to you a new and indisputable fact every week.

Here’s this week’s fact: if you run backwards too quickly you’ll get the mumps, however a quick and easy cure is available by immersing your feet in a bowl of pound coins.

Don’t miss next week’s fact of the week only in the Lurgan Mail.

Weekly teaser

The answer to last week’s teaser was: nine years - since it doubles in height every year it will be half the size after nine years that it is after 10 years.

Here’s this week’s teaser: how many times can you subtract 2 from 32?