Difficulties faced by family’s caring for sick loved ones in lockdown

GRAEME COUSINS speaks to two women whose task of caring for a loved one has been made even more difficult recently
Austin Rothwell was diagnosed with acute lymphoblastic leukaemia (ALL) in 2018. He was in intensive care for three months and spent a year learning to walk again.Austin Rothwell was diagnosed with acute lymphoblastic leukaemia (ALL) in 2018. He was in intensive care for three months and spent a year learning to walk again.
Austin Rothwell was diagnosed with acute lymphoblastic leukaemia (ALL) in 2018. He was in intensive care for three months and spent a year learning to walk again.

There are very few people out there who won’t have hit the proverbial brick wall during lockdown.

But then something usually happens to put life back into perspective.

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For me, it happened last week when my wife and I were bemoaning the difficulties of trying to juggle work and home schooling two children, especially with the sunny weather beckoning all four of us down tools and spend the day out in the back garden.

Yvonne and Stephen McCoyYvonne and Stephen McCoy
Yvonne and Stephen McCoy

Then the postman arrived with a letter addressed for me.

It was one of the regular updates I get as someone who supports the Northern Ireland Cancer Fund for Children. It was a stark reminder that cruel diseases such as cancer haven’t gone on hiatus during Covid-19.

The letter told Austin Rothwell’s story – diagnosed with leukaemia at the age of 11, and how children like Austin need our support more than ever.

His mother Nicola told of the devastation it caused when her son’s residential at Daisy Lodge had to be cancelled and how a Zoom chat with cancer specialists is one of the highlights of his week.

Austin Rothwell with his sister Ingrid and brother BruceAustin Rothwell with his sister Ingrid and brother Bruce
Austin Rothwell with his sister Ingrid and brother Bruce
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Austin’s story gave me cause to check in with Yvonne McCoy, the sister of Stephen McCoy, who was left severely injured following the Kegworth air disaster. I’d spoken with Yvonne at the time of the 30th anniversary of the crash last January.

Both women gave an insight into what it is like to care for a loved one when lockdown has taken away virtually every other means of assistance they could previously have called upon.

Austin’s story

In May 2018 Austin Rothwell was diagnosed with acute lymphoblastic leukaemia (ALL), was in intensive care for three months and spent a year learning to walk again.

Upon diagnosis it was decided that he was to start induction chemotherapy immediately.

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During the last week of he induction he became very unwell and was moved to ICU.

His mum Nicola described the three months that followed as the family’s “darkest days”.

She said: “There came a point where Kevin and I were taken to a quiet room and told that the chances of Austin surviving were very slim, and that we must prepare ourselves for the worst. It is a very odd feeling being told your child is likely to die. It is a numb feeling but as a mum I knew they were wrong.

Two months later Nicola was told the only thing that would save their son was surgery to remove the necrotic bowel inside him: “However, by having the surgery they said he wouldn’t make it – his only chance of survival was also going to kill him.”

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She commented: “We decided to give the surgery a chance. We owed that to our beautiful boy. Eight long hours went by.

“We sat in the quiet room and prayed. We had people all over the world praying during Austin’s surgery.

“Afterwards, the doctors explained that the surgery was very difficult, and they almost lost him on several occasions. I went to the door of his room and eight nurses and doctors were around him. He was so pale he was grey. He actually looked like death.

“Over the next seven days Austin had to go into theatre four more times. Each time we had to sign forms saying that we understood that he may not make it.

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“After three long months Austin was taken off the ventilator and moved back to the ward. He spent the next year learning how to walk and move again. His time in ICU had caused his muscles to atrophy. He was unable to eat and was tube fed for many months. With God’s grace, Austin began to gain strength and learn to walk and eat again.

“In June it will be two years since Austin started his cancer journey. Sometimes it feels like a lifetime and other times it feels like yesterday.”

Speaking about the impact of the coronavirus lockdown on her son Nicola said: “Covid-19 came just as Austin was about to go on his second residential. We were called and told the trip was being postponed. To say Austin was devastated was an understatement. I was also very sad because I knew the transformative impact getting away would have on him.

“I really wondered how Cancer Fund for Children could continue to offer support. Within days a Zoom meeting was set up. I was a little unsure how Austin would respond, but two hours later he emerged for his room beaming. I totally underestimated how important social contact of this kind was to Austin.”

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She said: “He has had a weekly Zoom chat with the charity’s cancer support specialists ever since. They just understand these kids.

“They listen and engage with them on a level that mums and dads cannot. As parents we worry about cancer treatments and side effects, about income and the impact of cancer on our other children.

“Sometimes we just don’t have the mental capacity to deal with the other stuff. Cancer Fund for Children let our children be children. They allow our kids to escape for a time and to be free from treatment and worry. It’s a very special gift they give our children.”

Many local charities only exist thanks to the generosity of Northern Irish public. They receive no government funding and with cancelled fundraising events the pandemic has had a catastrophic impact on their funding. At a time when children and young people diagnosed with cancer need their support more than ever, Cancer Fund for Children is predicting a 90% drop in income as a direct result of the coronavirus pandemic.

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Nicola, from Belfast, said: “If I could bottle the feeling that Cancer Fund for Children’s support has given my family, it would be stockpiled like hand-sanitizer.

“Cancer by its very nature can easily take over and overwhelm your world.

“Cancer Fund for Children helped us simply be a family again.

“Even in these strange times Cancer Fund for Children are offering light in the darkness. Donations are so important in ensuring their work continues.”

Stephen’s story

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Stephen McCoy has inspired his family and countless others by the resilience he has shown after being given little chance of survival following the Kegworth air disaster.

On January 8, 1989 the 16-year-old boxer with a promising future boarded a London Heathrow flight to Belfast which was to change his life.

His family were at first devastated when they learned that Stephen’s plane had crashed at Kegworth, but over the past 30 years they have been left in awe by the recovery he has made after his father had been asked on numerous occasions if his life support could be switched off.

After the crash in which 47 people died, Stephen was in a coma for six months.

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He left hospital in London three years after the crash, with life changing injuries which have left him brain damaged and paralysed down one side of his body.

His sister Yvonne said: “Stephen has dealt with this like a true champion. He has had a lot of illnesses after the crash, but he has took everything that has been thrown at him on the chin and has worked really hard to get better.

“I think it comes from his boxing background and his strong faith.”

Yvonne said: “We’re blessed to have him with us. He’s the life and soul of the house.”

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Yvonne said that Stephen has only left the family’s house in Toomebridge once during lockdown.

She said: “We brought Stephen to daddy’s graveside for his funeral, that’s the only time he’s been out. It was a difficult decision but we couldn’t ask anyone to come in and look after him in case they brought something into the house.

“And after all, it was his father and he needs to go through that too.

“Stephen is missing him something shocking, he just wants God to take him out of the grave, because Stephen and daddy were big mates, it was more than a father-son relationship. Daddy would have turned him into bed at night, all that is gone for Stephen.

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Idris McCoy died aged 77 on May 14 and was buried in Sacred Heart Church in Carrigan.

The Covid lockdown gave Yvonne cause to move back home with her mother, late father and two brothers – Stephen and Vincent.

Yvonne is Stephen’s full-time carer, though before lockdown she would have been getting some relief in terms of appointments with experts such as physiotherapists.

She said: “That’s all cancelled for Stephen. He got a letter to say he has to shield. He misses his walks, our dinners out, his trips to the barbers. He went to Lourdes every year, he’ll not get this year. That was the highlight of his year.

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“Day and night I was here with Stephen then home to my own house. I can’t do that now. In fact I don’t know if I’ll ever move back to my own house again.”

Yvonne said: “I pray hard every night for the lockdown to stop. It really goes for your mental health.

“I think if I hadn’t got Stephen to get up for in the morning I wouldn’t bother. He’s my rock.”

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