Route Hog

FABIO Capello recently walked away from the England post with speculation at fever pitch regarding his successor.

Hot favourite for the job is Spurs gaffer Harry Redknapp.

But should ‘Arry turn down the opportunity could the FA look to replace the Italian Capello with ‘a-tall-yin’ from Ballymoney?

English football chiefs said their preference is for an English manager, or at least British.

And if a ‘Sun newspaper story’ doing the rounds on Facebook is be correct it could be a man from the Toon taking the reins!

The suspiciously doctored looking front page claims former Rasharkin, Riada FC and Finvoy gaffer Mervyn ‘Tubes’ McIntyre is in the running alongside Redknapp, Martin O’Neill, Stuart Pearce and Jose Mourinho.

Manchester United fanatic Tubes - a legendary shot stopper in his playing days - has laughed off the competition from the Portugeezer and co, claiming he is the real special one.

However, he says he is not interested in the post at the minute due to long-standing commitments with FIFA 12.

He declined to comment when approached by Times Sport in the fruit & veg section at Tesco but on his Facebook site he released the following statement:

“I’m fed up tay the teeth way reporters ringing and camping ootside mae dour al night!”

It appears he hasn’t burned all his bridges though.

He later posted on the same website appealing for anyone with English parents or grandparents to give him a call.

Fans are saying that it’s ‘U Tube’ we want.

ALL WHITE ON THE NIGHT

With her ‘big day’ approaching, the bride to be was making sure that everything was in place. Now she already had her video guy long booked, but he wasn’t able to stay for the ‘night do’ but had recommended another chappie for her. Not having met this man before, she rang to see if he was available (which he was) and made arrangements for the time and place to be. “Now”, she says to the boyo, “Seeing as we hay’nae met, dae’ye want me to meet you at the dour or what”? “Well”, back came the reply, “I’d think I’d be able to pick you out as I’m sure you’ll be the only girl there in a white dress”! Talk about the ‘blushing Bride’.

IT’S IN THE NAME

A couple of mates where tallking the other day about football and the Suarez situation. Now one is an avid Liverpool fan (he’lll soon be on the mend) the other guy is a kinda fair weather footie guy, who I believe has a soft spot for Leicester City..(he’s just started his treatment). Anyhow, as they were talking the City fan pipes up:”Well, you see that guy Shiraz......!!!! It’s well seen he’s not a big follower of the game.

Groan Appeal

A snail goes into a bar and orders a beer. The barman looks at it and says ‘Sorry we don’t serve snails in here’ and throws him out. A couple of weeks later the snail goes into the bar again and says...”What did you do that for”!