Route Hog

Those in the building business might know his identity and we’ll spare him blushes on this occasion, but he’s been having a busy time contacting his friends to get their mobile numbers having lost most of them.

And the reason? His Sim card was, according to the experts, too old for all those modern telephones!

Strange, but true.

Doesn’t that say something about this guy whose hobbies include rugby, raft racing, singing and quiz expert?

WHAT about the local man who went on a short break with his wife and while applying shampoo during an evening shower, accidentally scraped his forehead with a nail that definitely needed cutting (a lot of space to scrape, I hear).

Such was his embarrassment that he had to plead with his wife to apply some foundation cream to mask the mark.

I hear that a group of kids from Ballycastle High School went on a trip to Belfast last week to visit the Museum - part of an educational visit.

Trouble is that when they got there the museum was closed. Those in charge still managed to occupy the kids’ time by taking them elsewhere - not an educational establishment, however.

WHO’S the fashion conscious gent in Ballymoney whose passion for shirts got the better of him recently?

Let’s just say this keen lover of military memorabilia went into a local shop after spotting a shirt he instantly took a fancy to.

He brought it home, ironed it and when he opened the wardrobe door, he found another one exactly the same bought from the same shop.

A case of having an already bulging wardrobe no doubt.

THIS local chap almost jumped out of his skin the other day when he got a totally unexpected hefty slap on the back of the head.

Turning around to see who the culprit was, the man instantly saw the face of a shocked ‘assailant’ who quickly apologised for the mistaken identity saying he thought he was giving a crude greeting to an old friend.

Lucky he didn’t get a punch in the mouth for what could have been a costly mistake.

I couldn’t help but smile when I saw a local councillor getting a bit of a lecture from a Traffic Warden on Monday when he parked on the restricted area at Church Street just outside HR Wilson Associates.

Perhaps the warden didn’t he was dealing with a very shrewd public representative otherwise it would have been worse! It’s just as well he’s not getting a BILL for his actions!

I see there’s a bit of money laundering in Stranocum, but before the PSNI move into the area in numbers, it’s all perfectly innocent.

I understand that a resident mislaid his wallet with credit cards, etc., inside. It was gone for the best part of a week and the poor chap was going frantic. He finally discovered its whereabouts when his wife handed him back a pair of trousers she had just washed with the wallet still inside.