Routehog

ONE Sunday, the guy arrived home from Church to find - much to his horror - his dog running about the garden with its face covered in dirt and his neighbours rabbit firmly between its jaws.

Running over to the canine, his worst fears were founded as there was not an ounce of life left in the fluffy pet.

How on earth he thought to himself, could he break the news to his neighbour, and would his dog be 'put down' should word get out.

Thinking quickly, he took the rabbit inside the house, washed and scrubbed it clean, and even took the hair dryer to it to dry it off.

Then he nipped quickly to his neighbours house - who was still at his place of worship - and placed the rabbit in its hutch.

A short time later the guy's doorbell rang and upon answering it found his neighbour friend standing there looking totally bewildered.

The conversation went something like this. Neighbour:"Wud ye cum way me a minute till aye show ye this. Ye'll never believe it". First man:"Aye ok, why watt's it a boot"? Neighbour:"Just come wae'me and ye'll see fur yersel".

So they head to the rear garden of the neighbours house, who points to the rabbit lying in it's hutch. "Luk at that", says the neighbour.

Playing it cool the man replies:"So watt's so unusual aboot that". "I'll tell ye watt's so unusual aboot it, says the neighbour, "that rabbit died and I buried it a weana days ago"!!

It's 'thaw' good to see the rain

ISN'T it really good to see the snow gone. Must be the first time that I was so glad to see rain. Mind you it needed something to make the footpaths around the town alot safer to walk on.

Because if we'd waited on the DoE, Roads Service, Council or whoever is responsible to clear them, we'd still be slipping and sliding about.

Groan appeal

PADDY'S dog goes missing and he's inconsolable. His missus says:"Why don't you put an ad in the paper?".He does, but two weeks later the dog's still missing. "What did you put in the paper?" the wife asks. Paddy replies:........"Here boy"!!

Cry me a river

THE guys were heading up towards Londonderry/Derry one evening, I think to watch or play it a football match. Anyway during the journey and driving along somewhere between Greysteel and the City, a guy in the backseat who's looking out the side window, asks a very difficult question:" Is that there Lough Neagh? Now there's something tells me that it wasn't. Perhaps the River Foyle at a guess.

WHO was the lady stuck on the hill in her four wheel drive recently?

Maybe she was ‘nurse’ing it too carefully?

We’ll put the blame down to the ‘kar’en!!!